A Perfect World
Let's drift off in a daydream that will take you to a perfect world where everyone loved each other. If you have ever read the book, "The Christmas Candle," the world would be like an enlarged version of that story. There would be a lot more people because if everybody loved each other as much as they loved themselves there would be no war, gangs, suicide, bullying, homelessness, starvation, a need for rules, government, money, and everybody would live together in harmony. There would be no war because there would be nobody to fight against. There would be no government and nothing to fight over. There would be no gangs because you wouldn't harm those you love. There wouldn't be any bullying, so everybody would be helping each other feel good about themselves. Hence, there would be no suicide. The homeless and the starving would receive homes and have full stomaches because everyone would pitch in to help each other in a crisis. Everyone would discover together, explore together, and live together as one. No one would be unemployed because everybody would want to help pitch in. There would be no money because there would be no need of a reward for working. The reward would be helping someone else, which means there would be no telemarketers. Hallelujah! Sign me up to live in that world.
-Phoenix O.
Great job Phoenix, you really explained that well and I couldn't find anything to fix. Keep it up :)
ReplyDeleteGood, Phoenix, good. You let my thoughts fly wild with this one imagining the perfect world. The only thing I don't like about this is that you typed 'because' a lot.
ReplyDeleteGreat job. I thought you could maybe find some different words because you repeat some a couple of times
ReplyDelete