Chocolate Pie
By: Ellee Bolander
Woot! Woot! Thanksgiving is here, and guess what it's time for Chocolate pie! This is the best pie ever. For all of you that like Pumpkin pie I found this, ¨ Chocolate pie is a safe bet for everyone...I mean, who doesn't love chocolate? This pie is one of the easiest to make and tends to turn out pretty spectacular every time. If this pie were more seasonal tasting, it could probably break into the top three, but it's still very tasty. ¨( In my opinion chocolate pie should be number one.) This is why Chocolate pie is the best for thinks giving.
The picture of chocolate pie looks delicious! I love how you wrote this! I mean, who doesn't love chocolate? In your first sentence, I would change it to, "Thanksgiving is here, and guess what? It is time for Chocolate pie!" That just flows a little better.
ReplyDeleteAwesome job Ellee! It was awesome! I do agree with Abbey, though. Another option you could have done for the first sentence is "Thanksgiving is here, and guess what it's time for? Chocolate pie!" You could add a question mark after the "for". Other than that though, you did great! Good job.
ReplyDeleteThat was amazing! You did fantastic! Although you missed spelled "thanks" and said "thinks" but it's not a big deal you did a great job and are a really good writer.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Ellee! You did great, but maybe add some statistics next time
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