Dear Mrs.Gubler,
I heard that you were wanting to bring a celebrity to our school. I personally think that it would be cool to bring a celebrity our age to the school. I think Eva Igo would be the best person to come, she is a incredible dancer. She is the youngest to make it to the finals on Worldof Dance. This would be an entertaining show. She could talk about why she wanted to be in World of Dance. She can tell us how to not give up on our dreams, and help us achieve ours.
Eva would be a good celebrity to come because, she can show us all her cool dance moves. She could also tell us how she didn’t give up on her dreams and pushed through it all, and encourage us to stick with our dreams. She could tell us how scarred and happy she was to be on World of Dance,and how it was a good experience for her. Eva could also tell us how happy she was to make it to the finals. I think personally Eva Igo would be a good celebrity to bring to our school.
Sincerely,
Ellee Bolander
Great Job Ellee! You are such a talented writer I totally agree with you on your choice. However, I did notice that at the beginning of your second paragraph you put a comma after because but you don't need to because that word connects two sentences so there is no need for a comma. Other than that you did great!
ReplyDeleteGood job Ellee! (is that how you spell it?) I like how you knew she was about our age, and that would change our perspective on her and her success. I noticed that in the third sentence of your second paragraph, you wrote scarred instead of scared. Great job!!
ReplyDeleteWonderful writing here! I liked the justification of why she should come, great work! As you revise, just double-check grammar.
ReplyDelete