Dear Mrs. Gubler,
I heard you wanted to invite a celebrity to LRI. Lindsey Stirling would be a fantastic choice. Lindsey Stirling is a violinist/dancer. She would be an awesome person to invite to our school because she knows what hard work really means. She struggled through an eating disorder and made it out stronger. She introduced a hard way to combine violin and dance. She had to practice a lot and not give up. She faced rejection in America's Got Talent and improved her work. It made her become even better. She even came back on to America's Got Talent. Returning proved she was brave. Also, she has great music and creative music videos. I think she would give a great message to us at Lava Ridge Intermediate. Lindsey Stirling would be a great celebrity to invite here. I hope you agree with me and will ask her to come. Thanks for listening.
From your favorite student, Loralee Wimmer.
(A.K.A Lollie Wimmer :)
Hey Lollie, You did an amazing job on your writing. You used a lot of great information that supported your reason. Although, I noticed the word "great" a lot. Maybe next time try using other words with the same meaning. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Lollie! That was an amazing blog! I loved how you told us that she was brave enough to go back to Americas Got talent. I didn´t excactly see any things done wrong! Excelent work!
ReplyDeleteGood writing! I agree with Kamree try using bigger words, I need to work on it too! You are writing soooo good! Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteHey Lollie! Loved this a lot the only thing I saw was you used the word "great" a lot but thats ok! Great job! You are so talented!
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ReplyDeleteHey Lollie! That's awesome how you colored your post and made it stand out. I loved how you worded what she did and used the word "she" at the beginning of every sentence. It reminded me of some big speech for some reason, which is good! The only thing I saw was the word "great" like the other four said, but it's fine since the rest was awesome! Keep the good work up!
ReplyDeleteGreat writing! I actually would LOVE to meet her:) Yes, spice up your word choice, but solid, well-written paragraph. Well done Miss Lollie!
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