I understand that you would like to bring a celebrity to our school. I think that is such a fun idea! A celebrity I think would be really fun and appropriate to bring to our school is Angelica Hale. Angelica was the runner up for first place on Americas Got Talent 2017 and she is only 9 years old! She has the most amazing singing voice ever and for such a young age. When Angelica was 4 years old she was rushed to the hospital because of an infections in her lungs. She was in the hospital for 80 days from February, 2 to April, 24 2012. She survived kidney failure for over a year by going to dialysis. Then at age 6 she had a kidney transplant by her mom. I think she would be a good celebrity to bring in because she could talk to us about pursuing her dreams even when things got hard. She overcame health and anxiety to audition and sing in front of millions of people. She could teach our school about practicing a lot and putting in lots of time to achieve your dream. This is why I think Angelica Hale would be a good celebrity to bring to our school!
Sincerely,
Camille Van Gils
Great job Camille! I loved how you wrote so much! Although you could have replaced a number or two with their spelled out form, I thought you brought an amazing celebrity to the table!
ReplyDeleteThat was Great Camille! You wrote a lot of great things about Angelica Hale. But you could have spelled out the numbers.(Like Gabby said). Other than that you did fantastic.
ReplyDeleteThat was great writing! My only suggestion would be to maybe add some more transition words
ReplyDeleteExcellent! Great justification and writing--she would be amazing. Yes, more transition words and less pronoun "she". Very well done!
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