I heard that you are trying to find a celebrity that could come to our school. I believe that you should invite Lin-Manuel-Miranda. He is absolutely amazing! He wrote the musical Hamilton and played the role of Alexander Hamilton. The play Hamilton is very historical, and it has very catchy songs and scenes. He wrote the lyrics and the music for it. He was also a co-writer for Disney's Moana. I believe that he could be very inspirational. He is a idol of mine because he worked hard to get where he is now. By having him come to our school, he could help inspire people to never give up. He could talk about not giving up, even when things get hard. It would be amazing to have Lin-Manuel-Miranda!
Sincerely, Scarlett Deuel
Great Job Scarlett!! I love how you told everyone why you wanted him to come to our school and why he's an idol for you.I couldn't find anything wrong!!
ReplyDeleteYour writing is awesome. I love how your sentences flow so smoothly. The only thing that I noticed is that you said he a lot. I think it would make your sentences even better if you started it with something else.
ReplyDeleteAwesome work Scarlett! Great celebrity, Lin is one of my favorite composers! Although you could have started your sentences with "he" a lot less, this is overall AMAZING.
ReplyDeleteGreat work! I really like this.But going back to what will and gabbi said I think that not using he as much would really improve your writing.But I could not find anything else
ReplyDeleteWell done! I'd love for him to come too--as I explained in comments to Gwyn Lin-Manuel is his hyphenated first name, Miranda is last name so it's Lin-Manuel Miranda. I didn't realize he co-wrote Moana--so cool. Man, I'd love to have him. Great grammar and spelling, just add more detail. Well done!
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