Halloween Night
By: Camille Van Gils
I was stuck at home all by myself. It was Halloween night, but my mom said I was too old for trick or treating so I had a plan. All of my younger siblings were out trick or treating with my mom and my dad had to work late. I was all alone except for my dog of course. If I couldn't go trick or treating I would sneak out and go with my friends in their neighborhood so my mom wouldn't see me. It was perfect! I called my mom and dad to see when they would be home and they both said really late so I had nothing to worry about. I went upstairs into my room and slipped on my costume (I was being a witch) and called my friends to come pick me up. 15 minutes later my friend Ashley was at my door. I put my dog in her kennel and headed out the door.
Ashley's older brother was driving and he got us to where the rest of our friends were and we started going house to house. We were getting SO MUCH candy, it was awesome!!!! This was by far the best Halloween ever! I was so happy that I snuck out! It was getting super dark and lots of people were going home but not us! We went to this one street that none of us had ever been to before. It was really spooky! I'm not going to lie I was kinda of scared. It looked like no one else was scared so I put on my brave face and kept on going. That's when we heard a scratchy noise.
We all turned around immediately but nothing was there so we kept going to the first house. But we kept hearing it!! It wouldn't stop! I was getting freaked out. Then all of sudden a zombie jumped in front of us and we all screamed! It was so scary. It started to chased us down the street until it took off it's mask and it was my dad!!! I couldn't believe it! My dad said he got off work early and got home and I wasn't there so he drove around the neighborhood and found us walking so he knew it was a perfect opportunity to scare us! Not only that I was in BIG trouble for leaving the house! Maybe next time i'll just stay home.
Great job Camille! I can tell you put a lot of thought into it. It is amazing! Although you could have put a little more detail to make it more scary, but other than that you did amazing!
ReplyDeleteCAMILLE I LOVE THISSSSSS! The only thing that I saw is you had some spelling errors but thats all. Keep up the great work!:)
ReplyDeleteThat was awesome! I just saw a couple mistakes but over all that was awesome!
ReplyDeleteGreat job! The ending was really funny, but you had some spelling errors, so maybe try to work on those.
ReplyDeleteFunny story--well done on plot and pacing! Yes, watch your spelling and punctuation:) As you revise, add more detail so your reader can really have a picture in their minds as they read. Good work! Thanks:)
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