It was 8:55 and my plans were almost ready to be carried out, but I still couldn't get the nagging thought that Danny might not be able to get mom away from the door log enough for me to bolt. But I knew I should not doubt his skills, 'cause he had MAJOR skills. With my costume on and candy bag in hand I ventured downstairs. Low and behold Danny is talking to mom like he does this kind of stuff all the time. It looks like he has got my mom to step away because "the skeleton in the driveway got knocked of its stool". She leaves the door way and I run as fast as I can go. Pushing myself farther and farther from the jail of my house. when I get to the park there is no bike in sight, but my phone buzzes. Johns little brother is throwing up so he was told to stay home. Now, I didn't have a ride, I was still close to home, and people were starting to run out of candy. I had to act fast, I didn't just break out of jail for nothing! So what had my genius plan come to? Well, I came close to the thought of going home to wait for Emmy. But who knew I wouldn't have to wait. Emmy and dad came up the street right towards me. Do I dare run? Had they already seen me? What would be my punishment if I did get caught?
I grabbed Danny with all my force and pulled him into the nearest bush after me. All the movement had caught the attention of my dad. I heard him tell Emmy to wait while he busted the hoodlums who were scaring all of the kids. If you can't guess my dad is a cop and lives and breathes his job. I could practically feel his every movement as he got closer and closer. I wanted Danny to walk out and give himself up so I could be undiscovered. But that is not what happened. I heard Danny whisper "sorry" before he got up and said, "I'm truly sorry for the trouble Mr. Eaton, your son had asked me to help him escape what he called jail. All I could do was help as a loyal friend would, but I didn't know it would entail hiding from you Sir." All I could do was stare in awe, my best friend Danial J. Reed had ratted me out. He threw me under the bus, betrayed me, and then lied to my dad! this was out outrageous. All I could do now was walk home under the shameful eye of my father and wait for the punishment in the morning.
BY: Averi Cobb
I grabbed Danny with all my force and pulled him into the nearest bush after me. All the movement had caught the attention of my dad. I heard him tell Emmy to wait while he busted the hoodlums who were scaring all of the kids. If you can't guess my dad is a cop and lives and breathes his job. I could practically feel his every movement as he got closer and closer. I wanted Danny to walk out and give himself up so I could be undiscovered. But that is not what happened. I heard Danny whisper "sorry" before he got up and said, "I'm truly sorry for the trouble Mr. Eaton, your son had asked me to help him escape what he called jail. All I could do was help as a loyal friend would, but I didn't know it would entail hiding from you Sir." All I could do was stare in awe, my best friend Danial J. Reed had ratted me out. He threw me under the bus, betrayed me, and then lied to my dad! this was out outrageous. All I could do now was walk home under the shameful eye of my father and wait for the punishment in the morning.
BY: Averi Cobb
Nice job Averi! That was a good story. I liked how the character thought about the house as jail. :) One thing I saw was instead of writing "planned" you wrote "planed". Maybe next time you could look it over again and do spell check. Great job though!
ReplyDeleteYou have such clever word choices like "shameful eye" or "jail break". Really good plot and writing! Well done:) Thanks for getting it done early too. As you revise, break up paragraphs more and clarify what is happening. Well done girl!
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