By Braden
Everybody said the old bosoworth mansion was haunted which I guess was why I just had to check it out for my self. On Halloween night I went and got my two friends. We went over to the old mansion and I went and knocked on the door. As the door creaked open I took a few steps in and then looked back. I saw neither of my friends had even moved. I told them to keep being such babies and come on, which they did. We went into the kitchen first and there sitting on the table were two lit candles. We figured they were probably just from a couple hobos. All of sudden we heard a noise upstairs. We went up there being as stupid and curious as we were. Up there were 3 doors and a single light at the end. Out of the 3rd door burst someone although it was to dark to see.
We ran faster than we knew possible. We got to my house in about 3 minutes and ran straight up to my room to see if we were followed. At the end of our street we saw someone walk across but luckily they didn’t turn. We decided the best thing to do would be go back to our own houses and go to sleep. The next morning I went storming over to my friends house as soon as I woke up. From his window upstairs you could see the whole mansion. We took his telescope and looked inside the house. We looked and looked forever until finally we saw something. All it was were the movement of curtains but right inside you could see the most disgustingly horrifying face you have ever seen.
We decided we were tired of being scared so we waited till morning grabbed some slingshots and our we went. As we walked down the street you could tell everyone was scared but no one wanted to admit it. We all took our sweet time walking down there till finally we got to the door step. I went up to the door and pushed it open as it squeaked open once again. This time we decided we were going to take a much better aporoach and make whatever was lurking in this house come to us. We slowly walked around the downstairs making as much noise as possible. All of a sudden someone came bursting down the stairs. We ran straight out the door but this time we hid and called the cops. After a couple minutes the sirens came and whatever the thing was, it was retrieved. Although there was never any reports or news about it after that.
Sunday, October 29, 2017
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That was really good!! The only thing I found was that you forgot to put your name. Overall, amazing!!:)
ReplyDeleteNice writing! I was really hooked into your story. There was a few grammar errors here and there. Overall, that was a great story.
ReplyDeleteThat was really good! Just maybe have the ending a little longer. It felt like you squished the ending in.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story because it was very creative. The only thing that I noticed is that I think you should have capitalized Bosoworth. Other than that it was a really great story.
ReplyDeleteGreat hook and plot! Yes, watch punctuation on pronouns and expand the ending. Also, add more sensory details to paint a picture in your reader's mind. Who are you? Please email me so I can give you a grade. Thanks!
ReplyDelete