Tap. Tap. Tap. The sound came from inside the closet. Quietly I crept toward the door and positioned myself with my knees bent and my arms ready to rip the door out if necessary. I looked around for a reachable weapon, but unfortunately the closest one (not really qualified for a weapon) was a half eaton apple leftover from yesterday. I stood ready at the door and silently counted to three in my head then mercilessly and pulled the the door open so hard that if doors were alive, this one would probably be dead or majorly injured. Speaking of doors being alive, I could not believe my eyes when I saw what looked like to be a physician in his early thirties wearing bright green scrubs, holding a stethoscope against the door as if checking if it was still alive. Oddly enough, I slowly lowered down my partially eaten apple because I trusted the blond haired blue eyed man somewhat. I don't know why I kind of trusted him, maybe because I trust doctors, maybe because it wasn't creepy at all that he was in my closet, or maybe it was because I was holding an apple, but either way I just don't know what it was.
Anyways, The doctor's gaze seemed to notice me as if I didn't matter at all, and he said politely with a big smile " sorry if I have disturbed you, I am just checking if this door is healthy and alive!" I gave him a suspicious look and then he elaborated by saying with only one side of his mouth moving as if he didn't want to let anyone hear "I have been led to believe that there is a common object possessive ghost lurking in this house, I was just checking if he happened to be possessing this door at the time". "well" I said in a slow undesicive tone, "just wait here while I go get my brother". "ok!" the physician said in a cheerfull and happy mood.
As I entered my 18 year-old brother's room I heard meowing coming from the corner. I turned my head in that direction and watched horrifically as the spinny chair that my brother owned spun around to reveal a navy blue shirt with white stripes hovering in midair just above the seat cushion. The long sleeved shirt was holding an ugly bald cat in it's right arm, and with the other arm, it was petting the hairless cat in long slow strokes. Out of nowhere, a low gravely voice said "I've been expecting you".
Bryce
That was really good. Your writing was super descriptive and had me interested the whole time I was reading it. One thing you could fix is to say your name somewhere so people know who wrote it, but no biggie nice job!
ReplyDeleteNice job! I liked all the descriptive words you used and the way you wrote it. One thing I saw was you put "eaton" instead of "eaten". I liked your story though, so nice job! :)
ReplyDeleteI liked your story! It was really good, though I do agree with Daisy on the apple being "eaton", but that was it. Good job!
ReplyDeleteYour story was awesome! I loved the cliff hanger at the end, “ I‘ve been expecting you”. You did amazing.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story!!! I would put your name next t time like avert said :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a great story but I can't give you a grade without a name (insert sad face). Way to go on your creativity and out-of-the-box thinking; I'm impressed! Great plot all the way around. As you revise, add more sensory details to enhance your awesome plot. Email me and tell me if this is your piece. Thanks!
ReplyDelete